Unless
by TexanRose
Summary: Ezra must reconcile with the reason why Aria walked away from him all those years ago. And why she came back. AU.


**I've been on a PLL kick lately and this popped into my head. It's different from what I normally write, but I like it. I hope you do too. Please review. **

**I do not own PLL or any of its characters.**

* * *

Aria knocked on the wooden door, the rapping sound her knuckles made echoing in the empty hallway.

"Yes?" asked the man sitting in the teacher's desk not looking up from whatever it was he was working on. Grading, Aria supposed.

She cleared her throat. "I came by to say hello," she told him softly, her voice sounding scared and unconfident in her own ears.

At the sound of her voice, he glanced at the figure standing in the doorway of his classroom. "Can I help you?" he asked shortly. "Almost everyone else has gone for the day."

She took a step forward, determined not to be scared or nervous. "You don't recognize me, do you?" she asked him, rearranging the purse on her shoulder and tucking her long brown hair behind her ear.

"Should I?" he asked, his scowl melting into a look of curiosity.

"I had thought you would," she told him softly, hurt flashing in her eyes before she buried it.

He stood up behind his desk and looked at her, studied the contours of her face, the way her hair flowed down her back, the eyes that seemed to change color. "Aria," he breathed.

She chuckled nervously and walked to the spot in front of his desk, the place where she had been reprimanded, scolded, and lectured so many times before. "I'm in town visiting family," she told him, "but I wanted to stop by and give this to you." She rummaged through her large purse before extracting a large stack of papers that had been clipped together. She held it out to him tentatively and he took it from her. She sucked in breath as his hand brushed hers.

He flipped through the printed sheets and read the title page aloud, "_Unless_. Interesting title."

"It's a manuscript. Poetry," Aria explained. "It's getting published next fall. I thought you would like a copy since you inspired some of the poems."

He read the first poem carefully before looking back up at her. "This is your writing?"

She cleared her throat. "It is."

"I'll be sure to read it then," he told her, placing it carefully on the corner of his desk.

Sure she was being dismissed, Aria shifted her purse from one shoulder to the other and then nodded her head. "It was good to see you," she told him, her face tight and her smile overly polite.

He nodded. "I'm glad that you're doing well, Aria. That you're happy."

She snickered softly and confessed, "I never said I was happy," before walking out the door and into the hallways that had once confined her to this building and the life she had never wanted.

* * *

Ezra Fitz sighed as he walked into his apartment after a long day at work. He flicked on the lights, threw his keys on the counter by the door, and kicked his shoes off. He set his satchel on the coffee table before he worked on pulling off his tie and tossing it onto the bed. As he poured himself a glass of brandy, he thought about her.

He had known who she was from the first moment she had knocked on his classroom door. She had always smelled different from anybody else, like lavender and roses, and home. He had spent the last five years trying to forget about her, and to no avail. He thought about her almost every day. Even if he didn't want to admit it to himself.

She looked similar to the way she had all those years ago, beautiful and untarnished, like hand painted porcelain. But she was different; the last traces of girlhood had been replaced by womanly curves and an adult demeanor.

He sat on his sofa in defeat as he drowned the last of his brandy. Sighing, he reached into his satchel and rifled for the packet of papers he had carefully placed in there earlier. When he found them, he pulled them out and started reading. He wasn't the kind of man who cried easily, but the words she had written made him want to weep with emotion. There was no mistaking what she was trying to say. It was full of love and heartache, sorrow and joy, hope and defeat.

It was early in the morning when he finished reading, his tears spent, his body exhausted, when he saw the handwritten note on the last page of her manuscript. He read it twice to make sure he hadn't mistaken its contents before turning the page with finality.

Unwilling to crawl into his large bed alone, Ezra grabbed the blanket that hung over the back of the sofa and fell asleep. As he mind surrendered to darkness, and oblivion, her face was the last thing he saw.

* * *

Aria sat on the barstool and looked at the ticking clock. He was late, and she wasn't sure if he would be coming at all. She looked around at the near-empty bar and then to the spiked iced tea in front of her. She took a large gulp before setting it down. She had been hoping he would come so that she could explain what had happened all those years ago. She sighed as she looked at the ticking clock one more time before the rhythmic beating made her lose herself in her thoughts.

_"It's Aria, right?" asked Mr. Fitz when he bumped into her at the coffee shop. _

_ "Yeah," Aria had replied nervously. "I'm in your second period class."_

_ "That's right," he nodded in remembrance. "Twelfth grade English. You sit one row over from the windows." _

_ "Yeah," she nodded as she looked for a way to escape the awkward conversation. She breathed a sigh of relief as she spotted a blonde-haired girl enter the building. "There's Hanna. I have to go, Mr. Fitz." She waved at her companion before turning back to him, "It's was nice seeing you," she told him politely. _

_ "Yeah, you too," he told her as he watched her walk away. Sighing, he grabbed the coffee cup the barista held out to him and walked out the door. _

Half-smiling, Aria took another sip of her tea as the memories flowed back.

_ "Sorry," she exclaimed as she tripped over the person she hadn't seen sitting on the floor of the bookstore. She got a glimpse of dark slacks before she lost her balance and fell onto the carpet. _

_ The stranger helped her into a sitting position and Aria blushed at the situation. "Thanks," she muttered to the man as she leaned against the bookcase next to him. _

_ "It was my fault really," he began before recognition flashed in his eyes. "Aria?"_

_ "Mr. Fitz?" She groaned when she saw his face. "God this is embarrassing."_

_ He shrugged. "Like I was saying, it's my fault. I should have sat on one of the sofas instead of here on the floor." _

_ The tension fading from her body, Aria looked over his shoulder and read the title aloud. "_Ulysses_."_ _She wrinkled her nose. "Has anyone ever finished that book?" she asked. _

_ "No, not really," he answered smiling. _

_ She laughed, a clear, ringing sound that made the other customers glare at her. "I thought you would have answered that you'd read it twice already," she confessed, a glint in her eye. _

_ "Why? Is it because you think all English teachers do nothing but read in their spare time?" he joked. _

_ "Something, like that," she admitted sheepishly, ducking her head and hiding her expression in the curtain of her hair. _

_ "What about you?" he questioned. "_The Age of Innocence_." He cocked his head. "That's not even on the required reading list." _

_ "So?" she shot back. "Did you think that all students read only what's required?"_

_ "Something like that," he mimicked. She laughed again, and so did he, and before she knew it they were engrossed in a conversation that had nothing to do with school…or books. _

Aria looked back up at the clock before she downed her tea. He wasn't coming. She had known that he wouldn't, but she had hoped; she had wanted him to so badly.

She had been his friend once.

* * *

Ezra stared for a moment through the clear glass door. He could see her inside, waiting, just like the note had said that she would. He sighed as he remembered, and shut his eyes when he couldn't forget her, her smiling, her laughing, the way she looked when she talked about the things that meant a lot to her.

_"I didn't expect to run into you here," he joked, setting a latte down in front of her. _

_She looked up at him and smiled. "You know I can't function without my coffee fix." _

_He chuckled before sitting down next to her. "You write in that thing constantly," he told her, pointing his chin in the direction of her journal. _

"_You do in yours too," she shot back, before closing the leather book shut and gratefully taking a sip of the coffee he handed to her. _

"_Maybe I do," he admitted before taking a sip of his own coffee. _

"_We should get lives," she stated bleakly before looking up at him and around her at the near-empty coffee shop. _

_He shrugged. "You're a teenager. You already have a life." _

"_Not really," she had admitted. "Unless you count getting drunk at Noel Khan's party that one time." She clasped her hands over mouth in shock. "I cannot believe I just said that to a teacher," she ground out. _

"_I won't tell," he promised her with a half-smile. "It can be our little secret." _

_She nodded her assent and then studied him for a moment before asking, "How old are you? I don't think you ever told me." _

_He clutched his cup of coffee. "Twenty-four," he admitted looking inside the cup and into the dark liquid. _

"_That's only…"Aria let the thought hang, realizing that some things were probably better left unsaid. _

"_That's only six years older than you," he finished for the eighteen-year-old girl. "I know." _

He might as well have been fifty for all the difference six years made. It was an unbridgeable gulf between them. He was her teacher and she was his student, and he couldn't help it, but he liked her. He really liked her. As a person, a student, a friend, a companion and a partner in crime.

"_We probably shouldn't be doing this," he warned her as she strapped herself into the seatbelt. _

"_I know," she sighed. "But it's going to be so much fun. I mean, how often does Maya Angelou come to Philly?" _

_He glanced at her before turning his attention back on the road. "It's almost worth it," he told her as he put his blinker on. _

"_What is?"_

"_They lying and the hiding. It's almost worth it to see you happy." _

_He was rewarded with a large smile and a lighthearted response. "You're taking me to a lecture," she rolled her eyes. "Come on, Mr. Fitz, even my parents wouldn't find anything wrong with that." _

"_Then why don't we tell them that we're going together, then?" he asked her, but he already knew the answer. _

_Her face scrunched up. "Because my mom works with you. It would be weird if she knew we were friends." _

"_And I'm your teacher," he added. _

"_And you're my teacher," she repeated dully. _

"_Where do they think you are?" he asked her. _

"_Emily's," she replied, "You should drop me off there when we come back to Rosewood." _

_He was silent for a moment. "Not Mr. Fitz, not tonight." _

"_What do I call you then?" she asked him, an eyebrow raised. _

"_Ezra," he responded softly. _

The sneaking and the lying had only increased as time went by. It had started out with chance meetings at the bookstore or the coffee shop, then deliberate ones. She stopped by his classroom during her free period on the pretext of needing help with her homework just so she could talk to him. He started writing her notes on the assignments he handed back to her. Then it morphed into sneaking to Philadelphia for concerts and readings, plays and movies. Soon, she began to call him by his first name almost all the time, except for when they were in class together.

She had been more than his friend then.

He turned around and walked away from the bar…and her. Just like she had done to him all those years ago.

* * *

Aria sighed as she knocked on the door, hoping that his address hadn't changed in five years. It didn't look like much had, she thought glancing down the deserted hallway. She shifted as the brass plates that marked the apartment as 3B caught her partial reflection. She knocked again, harder.

When he still didn't answer she crouched down under the doormat, hoping his habits and preferences hadn't changed. She found the key taped to bottom, pulled it free, and stuck it in the lock. As she opened the door, her hand searched for the light. After some fumbling, she flicked it on. And she was surprised by what she saw. Because nothing had changed.

_"I like it," she said looking around at the cramped space crammed with furniture and books and posters. "It's very…you," she finished, proud to have come up with that particular adjective. _

_ "Thanks," he responded dryly before handing her a cardboard carton and some chopsticks. _

_ She took them gratefully and then settled next to him on the couch. "This is good," she mumbled as she stuffed her mouth with food." _

_ "I think so," he laughed. "I can't cook, but I have those take-out numbers memorized."_

_ "No girl in your life?" she asked teasingly. _

_ "Not even my mother," he admitted bashfully. _

_ "Well," she said through a mouthful of noodles, "you have me now. I can cook for you when you're craving a home-cooked meal." _

_ "That would be nice," he told her. Their gazes met for a moment before she looked away. _

_ "So what are we watching tonight?" she asked him. _

_ "Chinatown," he told her getting up to put the DVD in the player. _

Sighing, Aria took the envelope out of her jacket pocket and placed on his desk where she knew he would see it. She looked at the papers she had scattered around, the English degree that was propped up against the window, the pictures framed and proudly displayed. And that's when she saw it.

_"Come on, it's your birthday," pouted Aria. _

_ "No," Ezra told her adamantly. _

_ "Please," she pleaded as she batted her eyelashes at him. _

_ "Aria, I don't want to celebrate it." _

_ "But you only turn twenty-five once," she reasoned. "Come on."_

_ "Fine, fine. We can go out and do something," he let out with a huff. "But this was your idea."_

_ "Awesome," she let out as ran and scurried to kitchen area of his apartment. She quickly opened and closed the door to the fridge and placed a cake on the coffee table. "I know you don't like to do anything for your birthday," she said, lighting the candles, "but I thought we could at least do this." _

_ He shook his head. "You had this all planned out didn't you?"_

_ "Maybe," she admitted, lighting the last candle. "Okay," she said, pushing the cake towards him, "make a wish." _

_ He closed his eyes for a moment before he blew out the candles. She clapped her hands in delight before snapping a picture of them together with her phone. _

_ "What was that for?" he asked. _

_ "You need something to remember your birthday by," she huffed. "You'll thank me for it later."_

Aria fingered the picture now, blurry and out of focus. It was the only one of the two of them together. Sighing, she let her hand drop and turned around. She shut off the lights, locked the door, and placed the spare key back under the doormat. As she walked out of the building, she wondered if she would ever see the inside of it again.

And then she wondered if he had even made a wish for his twenty-fifth birthday.

She knew she had.

* * *

"Ezra?"

Ezra looked up from his desk, and put down the paper he was fingering when he saw one of the last people he wanted to see in the doorway of his classroom.

"Hi, Ella," he greeted her. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Oh, no," she reassured him stepping into the classroom. "I just wanted to catch you before school started, see if Aria had caught you on Friday. She said she was going to try to come see you and say hello."

"I saw her," Ezra told her curtly. "She came by at the end of the day and gave me a copy of her manuscript. It was some really good writing," he added.

Ella smiled warmly. "It's nice to hear you say that. Is that all you talked about?" she questioned in an overly polite tone, her head cocked.

It was then that Ezra began to suspect that she knew something he didn't.

_His fingers brushed Aria's as she jumped in the car. "Thanks for saving me from the rain," she exclaimed as she attempted to dry herself off. _

_ "Like I was going to let you walk in this storm," Ezra told her as he turned a corner. _

_ "Why were you out?" she asked him. _

_ He shrugged. "I needed a few things from the store." _

_ "Hmm," she replied, shivering. "I was walking home from the coffee shop when it started raining."_

_ Ezra pulled into an alleyway and parked the car. _

_ "Why are we stopping?" she asked. _

_ "Because I don't think it's a good idea to drive anymore until the storm clears up," he told her practically as he watched his car wipers futilely try to wipe away the gushing water. _

_ They leaned back in their seats silently for a few minutes before Ezra could feel Aria shivering beside him. He turned the heat in the car all the way up, fogging the windows. _

_ "Thanks," she said, her teeth chattering. _

_ "Here," he helped take off her rain-drenched jacket and scarf. When she was down to her shirt, he leaned over in his seat and gathered her in his arms, rubbing them with hand in an attempt to warm her up. _

_ "This feels nice," she commented. _

_ "It does?" _

_ "Very," she said, turning to him. Too late, she realized that her face was only inches from his. Without thinking about it she leaned in and kissed him, and then he kissed her back. And he found that at that moment, he didn't care about anything except the way that her lips felt on his. _

"Well," continued Ella, sighing, "Aria's going to be in town for a few more days if you want to come by the house and talk to her. I know she'd enjoy that."

Ezra nodded. "We'll see," he answered brusquely.

Ella pursued her lips. "I'll let her know then."

Ezra watched as she walked out the door and into the hallway filled with students. Aria had been one of those students once.

_"We have to stop," he murmured as she nibbled on his ear. _

_ "No we don't," she whispered capturing his lips in hers once again. _

_ He enjoyed the feel of her tongue against his for a few more moments before he pulled away. "We can't do this," he told her. He got up from the leather sofa in his apartment and poured himself a glass of brandy. _

_ "Sure we can," she answered as she came up behind him and let her hands roam over his chest. "You can't tell me that this doesn't feel right."_

_ He turned and her hands fell to her sides. "You're my student, Aria."_

_ "I thought I was more than that," she responded as she began to fold her arms in a defensive position. _

_ "You are," he reassured her. "It's just that we're more wrong than we are right." _

_ She sighed. "Look," she said, grabbing has face with her hands and caressing his cheeks with her palms. "Out there, I might be your student. But in here, we're just Aria and Ezra." _

_ She looked so beautiful, and determined, and it did feel like they were meant to be together. So when she kissed him again, he set his brandy aside, forgotten. _

Ezra sighed as he thought about that memory, and then fingered the envelope in his hands. It was when everything had gone wrong…but it had felt so right.

* * *

"Did you see him today?" asked Aria when her mother came home from work.

"Yes," Ella responded as she plopped onto the sofa. She patted the empty seat next to her and Aria took it, sure her mother had some bad news to give her.

"He's not coming, is he?" she asked quietly, her voice cracking.

Ella shook her head. "I don't think so sweetheart. I'm sorry."

At her mother's answer, Aria buried her head in Ella's shoulder and sobbed. "I didn't realize he hated me that much," Aria moaned.

Ella helplessly rubbed her daughter's back. "He doesn't hate you. I don't think he knows yet."

"Maybe," whispered Aria and she brushed the tears in her eyes. "Maybe he only thinks of me as that student he hooked up with, the big mistake he never should have made."

"No, I don't think so," answered Ella as she shook her head. "I think you broke his heart," she finished softly.

"I think he broke mine first," responded her daughter.

_"Aria?" called a voice. She felt something shaking her and she looked up. _

_ "What?" she responded sleepily. "Is the movie over?"_

_ Ezra ran his hand through his hair. "It's morning," he let out in frustration. "What are we going to do?" _

_ "What do you mean?" asked Aria as she stretched and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. _

_ "Your parents must be going crazy looking for you," he groaned. "This is bad." He collapsed on the couch and put his head in his hands. _

_ "Don't worry about it," she told him nonchalantly. "I told them I was staying at Spencer's house." _

_ "And where does Spencer think you're staying?" he asked with a glare. _

_ "She doesn't know, but she agreed to cover for me," said Aria sitting next to him. "Hey," she said brushing the hair out of his eyes. "It's going to be okay. Okay?" She took his hands in hers and then kissed him. _

_ "Okay," he mumbled, kissing her back. "I just don't like worrying."_

_ "Don't you like being with me?" she joked. _

_ He kissed her soundly before responding. "You know I do, I just…"_

_ "Yeah, I know," she finished for him. She took a breath before going on. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we could be together all the time? Without worrying what everybody will think?" _

_ "Yeah," he admitted. "I wonder what life will be like after you graduate." _

_ "Let's hold onto that," she told him as he gathered her in a tight embrace. "I love you," she whispered into his ear. _

_ "I love you, too," he whispered back. _

They had always crossed that invisible line that the world put between them. And when they had crossed it, they sprinted past it until they could no longer see it behind them.

* * *

Ezra fingered the envelope in his hands. He had been doing it all day, debating whether or not to open it. She wanted him to, and that was enough to make him throw it away in the trash underneath the garbage she had heaped at him all these years.

Instead, he looked up at his empty classroom, the unoccupied desks, and then out into the deserted hallways. Then, he read the words she had written on the front of the envelope, and recognized the pristine handwriting, a pang of pain shooting through him.

**Ezra, **

** If you won't talk to me, then at least read this. It's the reason I left Rosewood. You have a right to know. **

** Aria**

He knew he damn well had a right to know. She should have told him five years ago instead of just walking away. So why would she tell him now? That question was the only reason he didn't tear up the envelope in to a thousand pieces.

He sighed as he thought about her. About them.

_ Aria wriggled in his arms, and although he was half-asleep he could feel her settle comfortably on her side, using his arm as a pillow. He heard her breathing become deeper as she fell back asleep. He knew it was late in the morning, probably almost noon. But he sighed and ignored the time. It had been a very late night for them, lasting into the early hours of the morning. _

_ He opened his eyes for a moment and kissed her on the cheek before looking around at the mess they had made the night before. He was pretty sure they had broken his lamp and their clothes were strewn about. When he saw it, he wondered how Aria's bra had gotten to the top of the fridge. He closed back his eyes and fell asleep thinking about how Aria was all he ever wanted. _

It hadn't been the first time they had slept together, nor had it been the last. He knew that they shouldn't have done it, but it was so close to graduation, and they had already promised to be together long after she had left the halls of Rosewood High. Which is why he had been so hurt when she walked away with barely a good-bye.

_ "Ms. Montgomery can I see you after class?" he asked her. She nodded and walked up to his desk when the bell rang. "Are you okay?" he questioned her quietly when the rest of the students had left the room. She looked tired, even haggard, and there were dark circles under her eyes. _

_ "I'm fine," she told him shortly. _

_ "Do you want to come over tonight, to talk about it?" he asked. "I can get Chinese," he offered. _

_ "No, not tonight," she shook her head. _

_ "Tomorrow?" he let out hopefully. _

_ She sighed in frustration. "No, not tomorrow," she paused. "Maybe not ever," she finished. "Good-bye, Mr. Fitz," she breathed as she walked out the classroom door, leaving him standing there dumbstruck as his third period class filed in. _

She hadn't talked to him again unless it was necessary for class. She hadn't acknowledged him at her graduation ceremony. She had ignored his phone calls, and texts, and emails. She went to college a thousand miles away. And then he finally got the message.

But to learn that she had a reason for leaving, that it was about more than stomping on her heart and crushing it into pieces, that she wanted to talk to him now. It made him open up the envelope and begin to read.

And his heart broke all over again.

* * *

"Hey, Mom," called Aria as she threw on a jacket. "I'm going to go visit Joshua."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" asked Ella as she came out of the kitchen.

"I'll be fine," Aria reassured her. Besides she said with a smile that was overly bright and forced. "I thought I'd go visit Dad while I was there."

"As long as you're sure," answered Ella, tilting her head in acknowledgement. She paused. "He could come by, you know."

"Ezra?" asked Aria. "I highly doubt he will."

Ella sighed. "Be safe," she told her daughter. "And give them my love."

"I will," answered the younger woman, her voice small. "And I'll give them mine too."

* * *

Ezra pounded on the door of the Montgomery house with all his might and prayed that someone would answer the door. When Ella answered the door, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Is Aria here?" he asked anxiously. "I really need to talk to her. I know it looks strange, but…."

"She's not here, Ezra. She went out for a little while." Ella stood in the doorway, blocking his view of the inside of the house.

Ezra hung his head in defeat and felt his eyes fill the tears he had tried to keep from shedding. When Ella pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back, he relaxed in her arms for a moment before pulling away. "You know," he accused her.

Ella nodded. "I do."

"Did you know this whole time?" he questioned hesitantly.

"A year ago," she told him simply. "Aria told me when her dad died."

Ezra gasped for air as he tried to process that information. "I really need to talk to her," he begged.

"She's at the cemetery," Ella said softly.

* * *

Aria sat in front of a small, flat bronze plaque and read the name and date for the hundredth time. The Rosewood cemetery was quiet and empty, and the light mist mirrored her emotions.

"I love you," she said softly. "I wish you could be here with me."

She sat quietly for a few moments as she wondered what he would look like now and who he would be. She was still stuck in her daydreams, her hopes for another life, when she felt someone sit down beside her.

"You read it," she said without looking at him.

"Yes," he answered softly. "I'm sorry." Although he didn't quite know what he was sorry for, maybe that she had to go through that entire experience alone, maybe that he had let her go without ever demanding an explanation, maybe because he still loved her and had shut her out. All of the above, he supposed.

"He would have been five now," she told him. "His birthday would have been a month ago."

"What happened?" he asked her.

"You know. You read my journal entries," she responded, referring to the envelope he had opened.

"He was stillborn," Ezra let out quietly.

"Yes. He was two-and-a-half months premature. There was no way he would have survived."

"You could have told me," he said reproachfully. "I could have been there for you. You didn't need me to shut you out."

She looked at him and anger flashed in her eyes. "I was scared," she ground out. "I was having my English teacher's baby, and I couldn't tell my parents. I didn't know how I would tell my friends. I didn't want to get you in trouble."

"We could have walked away together," he told her. "I would have followed you wherever you wanted to go."

"I've thought about this a long time, Ezra. Five years, actually," she let out a bitter laugh. "And I think it's time to stop thinking about the past, about our mistakes. There's too much hurt there."

"I still love you," he told her. "I always have."

"I love you too," she told him. "I never stopped." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "So what do we do now?"

"We live and remember and mourn," he answered. "We try to fix our mistakes."

"And if they can't be fixed?"

"Then we remember them; we remember Joshua. And we move forward."

Sighing, the couple looked at the grave and the plaque in front of them, and remembered, and imagined.

**Joshua Montgomery-Fitz**

**Beloved Son**

**November 2, 2012**


End file.
